Today’s Hero –the remarkable, inspiring author and
advocate Elisabeth Hirsch
Okay, I am a true fan of my friend Elisabeth Hirsch
for she represents all the good things I believe in: a tremendous parent,
incredible storyteller, active advocate, and philanthropist who has used her
voice to help enrich the human condition while assisting others who might have
lost their sight of life’s magic.
Elisabeth inspires me. And though she may not have realized the
magnitude of the words I am now sharing, Elisabeth put a unique fire in me a
year ago to fight for children in crisis: that fire leading to the
accomplishments of the I CARE Foundation, and the organizations various
accomplishments protecting children around the world from abduction.
For those of you who do not know Elisabeth Hirsch,
she is best-selling writer who has written a collection of diverse, enjoyable,
empowering, and entertaining books under the pen name E.C. Stilson. When she is
not writing, raising money for such notable organizations such as Angel Watch,
Primary Children’s Hospital, Pregnancy Resources, or the American Diabetes
Association, Elisabeth is speaking for and playing a key role in the healing
process for families in crisis who have experienced the loss of an infant or
young child.
Remarkably, Elisabeth used the hardships that she
and her family faced during one extremely challenging period in their life when
she lost her young son, Zeke, and acts so others will benefit from her
experience.
And as explored in this interview, Elisabeth’s
willingness and desire to help others means that she must go back to those
incredible storms whenever she comes to help other families in crisis. As a
parent who had to search the world over for an abducted child, and as a person
who, after finding and safely bringing my child home and becoming a highly
visible advocate and activist against abduction and trafficking, I know all too
well the challenges of advocacy Elisabeth faces because whenever she comes to
the aid of those who may be experiencing infant loss, the fiber of her memories
are part of her.
Fortunately, Elisabeth Hirsch has such tremendous
strength – a strength she has found because of her strong faith in God, her
strong relationship and partnership with her husband, the love of her family,
and her courage to find her voice.
It is quite remarkable just how much a person can
do when they find their voice. Clearly, Elisabeth Hirsch lives in Uhuru, and
somehow, I think Noble Peace Prize Laureate Wangari Maathai is looking down
from heaven at Elisabeth with a big smile on her face, knowing that this
indefatigable women lives unbowed in her morals, ethics, humility, and kindness
– and it all of this – Elisabeth Hirsch makes the world a much, much better
place.
Raising four beautiful children with her husband
Cade, why running her publishing company Wayman Publishing, Elisabeth came to
the aid of the I CARE Foundation this past year and stewarded the message of
international parental child abduction prevention. Elisabeth’s help was
incredible, as is exemplified by the fact that after nearly 30 years of
consistent rocketing growth in the U.S. international parental child abduction
rate, the reported rate of abductions dropped by 23% over the past two years –
the same period when the I CARE Foundation launched a global abduction
awareness and prevention campaign that utilized the tremendous reach of
parenting writers such as Elisabeth Hirsh.
Elisabeth Hirsch is a hero to so many, including
her family, her friends, and all those she has directly helped; however,
Elisa’s work, her spirit, and her willingness to help others in need – and the
impact she has made, represents all that mankind aspires to be. She is what
‘Today’s Heroes’ symbolizes – and represents the best in all of us.
It is my privilege to share this interview with my
friend and hero, Elisabeth Hirsch.
1. You have written several best sellers under the
name E.C. Stilson, including notable titles such as one of the most important
books I have ever read, The Golden Sky. Can you share with us a little about
this story, and what your purpose was in writing it?
I was nineteen years old, already a pregnant mother and lonely wife, when I
found out the child I carried had serious birth defects. I wrote everything
down, detailing how my baby died and my marriage fell apart, but through it all
I found hope, redemption, and even forgiveness in the most unlikely of places.
A few years later, I reread my own words and found miracles that only hindsight
could bring. So many amazing things had happened, showing me God was there,
always with me, always guiding me.
I knew others going through hard times could read my story and see the miracles
throughout their own trials. And understand that at the end of every storm,
there is a golden sky.
2. Why did you choose the name E.C. Stilson to pen under?
My nieces and nephews called me "EC" because "Elisa" was
hard to say. I always thought that was fun since my first name starts with an
"E" and my husband's begins with a "C." Cade's helped me so
much with my memoirs, I wanted the "EC" to represent both of us.
"Stilson" is my maiden name, and I used it to honor my dad.
3. During World War II, women in the media such as Jacquelyn Saix (one of
television’s first producers) and Mary Walsh Hemingway (one of the first women
war correspondents) began to transform who, how, and what news was reported,
and how this information was shared. Moving forward nearly 70 years, parenting
blog writers are changing the landscape once again on how information is shared
and utilized. Which makes the ‘The Crazy Life of a Writing Mom’ irresistible! Can
you tell us about this blog and what value do you see in it?
Humor and laughter have more power than most realize. As parents, it's easy to
get lost in the stressful circumstances; we forget how much fun life can be. My
blog tries to bring that back, by telling silly stories about parenting, potty
training, school bullies, etc. My hope is to help people see how any
circumstance can be humorous, if looked at differently. A happy parent, who's
involved with their children, will most likely raise happy kids.
4. How important of a role do parents who write and share their views and
perspectives on the Internet play in directing or cultivating public perception
or creating new trends?
Parenting blogs have grown substantially in the last few years. When googling
terms, it's amazing how many times I'm directed to parenting blogs. My blog
alone has been viewed over 360,000 times. The blogging community has a strong
voice, the ability to be heard more easily by so many people--it's phenomenal.
These writers' insights and knowledge are guiding others, making them feel less
alone in our technologically evolving world.
5. Would you say a mobilized group of parent blog writes has the ability of
creating a major impact on an issue or social cause, and if so, can you give a
specific?
I think anyone with a strong voice has the opportunity to influence others by
standing for what they believe in. Blogging has been a gift to those willing to
speak out. With good blog titles and topics, writers now have the capability to
be heard. I remember seeing this first-hand when I wrote about my son who died.
I went to over 100 other blogs and asked them to join me in a 3-day event where
we'd each share stories about our loved ones who have passed on. This event
exploded and was everywhere within the following days. That single event
jump-started my writing career.
You can see that promo post here:
http://ecwrites.blogspot.com/2011/09/only-50-more-days-until-golden-sky.html
6. It seems to me that it took a certain amount of courage when you found
your voice. What would you tell others who struggle to find the courage to find
their own voice, and what could they do to alleviate any fear they may have?
It's still hard for me to believe in myself and my voice. Even while being
interviewed on the radio, or while talking at signings, I'm still nervous. But
then I remember why I started in the first place. What was so important that
this journey became worth the fight? That's when I think of my son. I wanted
his story out there, something that he'd left behind so he could look down from
Heaven and realize I will never forget him. His life was important--it had
meaning. That strength keeps me going strong.
We all have stories to tell. The reason we initially started looking for our
voices, is the same force that will inspire us to find our way.
7. You are a very humble lady, yet your writing and advocacy has helped so
many others. Can you share with us one story of how one of your books helped
another?
. . . where to begin. I've been so blessed, and many of the things that have
happened to me seem a bit miraculous. The one story that sticks out happened in
winter of 2011. I'd just started Wayman Publishing and published "The
Golden Sky." It was an emotional time because Cade and I both thought
about Zeke's short life. On November 18th, Zeke's birthday, we went to his
grave and left "The Golden Sky" there. It was my final way of saying
goodbye. I can't describe how that felt. It was very bittersweet. At the time I
had a romantic notion that God and Zeke were guiding me. I'd somehow leave the
book and then the right person would find it and read it.
Well, it happened! In December I received an amazing email. It started like
this:
"Hi, I am sure you do not know me. You see Zeke's grave is right next to
my sister's grave."
The email continued, telling me how she'd read my book and now hoped her sister
was taking care of Zeke in Heaven! We're still in contact through Facebook. I'm
so thankful that she read Zeke's book.
8. Losing a young child is a parent’s biggest fear, and it is something you
have not only written about, but you have become a teacher, healer, and friend
to so many others who have had to face this issue. What are a few important
things that you teach others facing this crisis that can also carry over to
others not facing this issue?
Keep Going
Some days it might seem simpler to stop facing our problems. But that's not the
easy way out. Giving up and repressing feelings leads to worse problems later
on--trust me, I know. Whether you want to be a warrior or a wimp, give yourself
time to grieve (and deal with things) so you can eventually find the issue and
thus the resolution.
Find the Issue--Find the Resolution
We all go through tough times and grieve in different ways. If we can discover
what's truly upsetting us about any situation, then we can discover how to
change things. For example, when Zeke died I had the hardest time thinking that
he'd never grow up--I'd never get to see him become a man. Why? Was there
something I could do to make things better? He'd died and the sadness lingered
for years, just causing more pain and hurt. When I identified the problem's
root, I realized I could release his book, in that way his memory would live on
even if he could not. By Identifying this deep issue, I found a resolution. And
it worked!
The loss still hurts sometimes, but I feel much better, as if I've done as much
as I can to make a bad situation better somehow.
9. You have helped raise money for such organizations such as Angel Watch,
The Pregnancy Resource Center, and Primary Children’s Hospital. Why?
All three of these places helped me and Zeke. The Pregnancy Resource Center
encouraged me to continue with the pregnancy. Angel Watch sent counselors to
our house. They helped us cope before and after Zeke was born. They also helped
Cade and I mend our failing marriage. And Primary Children's, because that's
the only home Zeke even knew.
10. When the I CARE Foundation sought your assistance by asking you to lend
your voice and help steward the messages about the realities of international
parental child abduction, you did not hesitate to do so. Why?
I believe in the
I CARE Foundation. They fight for the well-being of children,
for the solace and strength of parents who are facing terrible tragedies. I
don't know what it's like to face child abduction, but I do know what it's like
to lose a son. For these reasons and many more, the I CARE Foundation is close
to my heart.
11. During the 2012 fiscal year, outgoing cases of international parental
child abduction declined by 15% that originated from the United States because
there was an increase in abduction prevention litigation. How important is it
that other parent blog writers write about social issues that impact children?
Bloggers have more power than they know. If people would band together and
write about this, our voices would be heard--and readers would take action.
Think about "The Golden Sky"; if a single book--from a previously
unknown other--can become a success from a single blogging launch, then imagine
how an event like this could raise abduction prevention awareness!
12. Can you name three of your favorite books?
The Bible--because you can't get better than that.
"Gone With the Wind"--because Scarlett is so real, loathsome and
likable--all at the same time.
"The Sum of All Men" in David Farland's Runelords series. He weaves
social injustice into a fantasy story that I'll never forget. Imagine a world
where people could sell their intellect, beauty, and physical strength. Now
imagine that same world, where these attributes can be taken by kings, leaving
peasants brainless, ugly and physically marred as long as the omnipotent king
lives.
13. I just ordered ‘The Sword of Senack’ – a magical YA adventure story
about three siblings trying to find one of their lost siblings. Where did this
story originate from, and can you give us a little insight?
When Zeke died, my oldest daughter had a very hard time. She'd ask what death
is, and why Zeke never came back. I answered the best I could, but when answers
no longer helped, I started telling her an allegory. The story is about a brave
boy who takes an underwater adventure. "He had to go," I told my
daughter. "It was his destiny." And through that story, my daughter
slowly came to terms with her brother's death. Few know of the story's deeper
meaning, they just think it's a fun MG fantasy. But it's a special book to me,
because it represents how my daughter found healing.
14. You’re a wife, a mother, a writer, a publisher, an activist, and an
advocate. What do you do for fun that is . . . well, just for you?
I love hiking. I also enjoy playing my violin in the mountains. This doesn't
happen often, but when it does I feel like all of my worries fade--even if only
for a moment.
Don't tell my mom, but I'd also like to get into
skydiving. I went once and now I can't stop dreaming about doing again--it was
UNREAL!
15. The word ‘Uhuru’ means to live in freedom by being and living unbowed in
your morals, ethics and principles. How important is it to live in freedom?
Without morals, ethics, principles and freedom of our minds, who are we? If we
expect to take life by the reins and truly live, we MUST understand ourselves.
That is true freedom, knowing ourselves and having the strength to be who we
are. I'm still trying to learn this myself, but I feel as if writing my memoirs
has helped me grow more than anticipated.
Living in freedom may be the single most important aspect of living, because
being "free" entails so much.
16. As an accomplished writer who has created an impressive, diverse body of
work, what three things would you tell inspiring writers?
Make a Goal and Stick to it!
Many writers don't go anywhere because they can't finish a book, or they won't
commit to writing consistently. Even if it's just a few minutes a day, if
someone wants to be a writer they must take the time to write. Writing needs to
be taken seriously. Find time. I get up at 5am just so I can write. If I stop
being consistent, my writing will suffer.
Don't Let Anyone Pull You Down
I could probably line a swimming pool with the rejection letters I've received.
It's hard hearing criticism from publishers, editors and even friends. But you
have to keep going. Yeah, I could swim in the hundreds of rejection letters
I've gotten. You know what else I could do? I bet I could make a book using the
wonderful letters I've received from people who've read my books and enjoyed
them. I've met amazing people. I founded Wayman Publishing. I helped donate
thousands of dollars to different organizations. None of that would have
happened if I just gave up and swam in my own doubts. Now think of your
writing--imagine what you could do!
Find Your Purpose and Hold onto it
Everyone is special. Everyone has something important to offer the world. Once
you've found what inspires you to write, keep that close. Just like I wrote in
question #6: The reason we initially started looking for our voices, is the
same force that will inspire us to find our way.
17. When creating a story, how do you map out the direction you’re going?
Since most books are about 60,000 words long, and I write nearly 2,000 words
per chapter, I start by creating 30 chapter titles. These must obey the arc of
a good story, with the mid-point and climax carefully placed. I usually think
of my resolution and then start my story in the complete opposite place. For
example, if my story will end with a confident woman who is financially stable
and happy, in the beginning she'll be poor and insecure. Every chapter must
describe her growth through subplots etc.
18. What is next for E.C. Stilson?
I'm currently working on "Quest for Larin," the second book in the
Mer-son Cycle.
19. What comes to mind from the phrase, ‘Global Citizen’?
I love this concept; it brings such a feeling of unity and hope. This really is
a small world. With the way things are going, we're all so easily connected,
unique citizens, all equal with the ability to help each other succeed.
20. Can you tell us something funny that happened to you during your life?
I've had so many hilarious things happen to me. But just this morning I talked
with a friend about my husband. Cade's fine now, but recently, he was very ill.
I had no idea he was actually that sick. I kept saying, "Honey, you need
to get out of bed. You'll feel better"
"I can't move," he groaned.
Was he serious? Suddenly I had a flashback of myself being in labor. I breathed
through each contraction. My mom and mother-in-law looked worried, praying for
me. Then Cade started hyperventilating in the back of the room. Everyone
gasped.
I was the one in labor! I didn't have a epidural, thinking I'd save my baby
from any drugs. Yet Cade pulled out a damn paper bag, breathing into it,
clutching the thing like it held the secrets of life. Then my mother-in-law and
MY mother left me as another rolling contraction came. I breathed. Cade
breathed. Apparently Cade breathes harder because everyone held his hands and
wiped his sweaty forehead! Our families left soon after to get Cade a
sandwich--my favorite kind. I couldn't eat, yet he ate the thing, taking big
breathes in between each bite. The ketchup from the sandwich kept falling,
splashing beautifully onto a napkin on Cade's lap, all during my intense
contractions.
"I can't move," Cade groaned again, bringing me back to the present
moment.
We went to the hospital. This time Cade rested in the hospital bed while I
watched from the sidelines. "You have an infection in your lungs,"
the doctor said. He had such wild white hair, like Einstein. "Another day
and you might have died," he told Cade.
It was my turn to start hyperventilating. I hadn't thought Cade was sick. I'd
been so rude! I sat down and breathed hard, trying to ground myself. My mother
and mother-in-law instantly ran over to make sure I was okay. They held my
hands. They wiped my forehead. . . .
After the doctor left the room, I caught Cade's eyes. He kept staring,
wondering why everyone was fawning over me when he was the one in pain.
(End
Interview)
As I have gotten older and perhaps a bit more
thoughtful, I have often thought about God’s will. In these thoughts, I have come to believe that
God so much bigger than any one religion, but the message God shares with all
who believe in the Divine’s existence crosses all faiths: be courageous in your
life to be kind and compassionate to one another. In doing so, I think we allow the God each of
us respectively believes in to come into our heart and guide our life.
When I think of the goodness of having God’s spirit
exist on our earthly world, it is rather easy to see the Divine’s presence in
the nature of mankind by simply paying attention to my remarkable friend,
Elisabeth Hirsch for Elisa, as she is also referred to, is what is right about
this world.
On one final note, my life has become enriched over
this past year that Elisabeth and I have become friends. I not only have been open to the lessons she
teaches by her action, but I have been empowered to share my voice.
Elisabeth Hirsch exemplifies what it is to be a
Hero for she has made our world a better place for many.