Peter Senese is a best-selling author writing primarily in the historical fiction genre. Published books include Chasing The Cyclone, The Den of the Assassin, Cloning Christ, War on Wall Street, and In Their Own Words. As the Founding Director of the I CARE Foundation, Peter has played an important role in the U.S. outbound abduction rate declining by 38% since 2009. As demonstrated by dozens of sworn testimonials, Peter has assisted many families either reunite with their children.
The International Child Abduction Research and Enlightenment Foundation (herein referred to as 'The I CARE Foundation') is dedicated to assisting children and their families from the horrible and inhumane crimes of malicious international parental child abduction (herein referred to as 'IPCA'). For clarity and understanding, IPCA is a criminal act of kidnapping under federal and national laws in the United States, Canada, and elsewhere.
Part of the I CARE Foundation's mission is to conduct research in the area of IPCA, publish our findings, and use our findings to help guide new public policy that will benefit at-risk children and their families.
But what is it that we are really fighting against?
There are multiple facets to this answer, but all surround around the intent to prevent high-caliber child abuse, and this includes fighting against child-murder (filicide), and tragically, suicide my adults who were previously child-victims of IPCA.
It is important not to forget that children who are victims of IPCA are in fact crime victims - and crime victims of kidnapping. The reality that they are victimized by a parent exponentially magnifies the trauma and abuse, as demonstrated by Dr. Nancy Faulkner's highly distributed report stating that parental child abduction is child abuse. Dr. Amy Baker, who is one of the world's leading experts on parental alienation, not only reiterates the abuse of alienation and its widespread tentacles during international parental child abduction in her brilliant publication 'Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome', but further states that alienation and abduction cause for a child to lose their identity and in doing so, lose themselves, thus developing alarming long-term side affects of IPCA trauma.
Filicide has been an alarming issue that has recently become brought to society's attention due in great part to the work of Dr. Phillip Resnick, director of forensic psychiatry at Case Western Reserve University, who is one of the world's leading experts on filicide. However, up until now, there have been no published reports on IPCA and suicide though an assortment of surveyed therapist who specialize in IPCA have expressed alarm over the existence of adult suicides by IPCA child-victims.
Now, IPCA is not a new phenomena; however, it is one that over the past 20 years has grown dramatically and has by the very nature of the number of abductions here in the United States, in Canada, and worldwide become a frightening epidemic that is undeniably destroying many lives.
The I CARE Foundation's efforts as an organization dedicated to conducting research and studies in the area of IPCA is critical to society today particularly since there has been limited new studies conducted despite the reality that it is expected that as many as 100,000 to 125,000 American and as many as 20,000 Canadian children will be victims of IPCA.
Sadly, we are deeply concerned about IPCA and filicide - when a parent murders their child. Previous studies conducted, including those conducted by the RCMP have demonstrated that the instability of a parental child abductor is severe, and that children of abduction have been murdered by their parent because of the irrational and dangerous thinking connected to abduction that "If I can't have my child, then nobody will."
How widespread is filicide? Several hundred children each year will be murdered by their parents each year in America, and proportionately, the number of Canadian children victims are on par with the population ratio of American to Canada.
After much discussion with leading therapist who specialize in IPCA, filicide, suicide, and family crisis issues, and having these mental health specialist express great, universal concern with respect to IPCA and suicide, the I CARE Foundation will be overseeing a new study that focuses on post-child abduction and suicide from targeted children.
Of great concern is the fact that many reported psychological conditions that exist with individuals who have committed suicide have been reported to exist with individuals who have been previously abducted or abusively alienated by a parent.
The I CARE Foundation will be providing updates on this issue: however, one thing is certain, and that is that there appears to be a clear correlation between suicide and IPCA.
Lastly, if you are a parent considering abduction, please do not. The effects on your child are long-lasting and severe.
During the Christmas Holiday Season many children are internationally abducted in accordance to international law because they are illegally and wrongfully detained in a foreign country without one of the child's parent's permission.
If this has happened to you and your child, you must first realize that the abduction was a well-planned scheme orchestrated by lies, deceit, and assistance by others, more thank likely the abductors friends and family members in the inbound country your child is presently being wrongfully detained. In addition, there is the possibility that the abductor also received assistance from other family and friends in the country of original jurisdiction (your home country) where the child lived.
Now, before I go any further, I will say this: you need to pay attention to every detail and keep records of everything that transpires.
If you are presently in a foreign country where your child is presently being detained and you have no access to your child because the abductor has cut off ties with you, I reiterate that you must be very careful and remind yourself that you and your child were targets of a well-planned scheme. You must seek immediate assistance from a local lawyer familiar with family law matters in that country, and, you must seek assistance available to you under the rules of law, including the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction.
For a list of countries who are signatory members of the Hague Convention, please click here.
Regardless if your child was illegally detained in a foreign country with or without you being in that country, there are critical steps that I suggest you must do, as outlined below.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER IS NOT TO WASTE TIME.
THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER IS THAT ANY COMMUNICATIONS MADE BY THE ABDUCTOR MORE THAN LIKELY WILL BE USED TO EITHER HURT YOU OR TRY TO SHOW THAT YOU HAD OR HAVE CONSENTED TO THAT PERSON'S 'RELOCATION', AS THEY TRY TO SUGGEST YOU SANCTIONED THEIR NO-RETURN. THUS BE VERY CAREFUL!
When you believe that your child or children have been abducted by either their other parent or a non-stranger, you must remember that time is a precious commodity you do not have.
You must act efficiently, thoughtfully, and purposefully with respect to all efforts that you are about to put forth in recovering your child. Of utmost importance is the fact that you need to know everything that everyone involved in your child’s recovery is doing. Critically, you must stay calm, stay alert, immediately contact law enforcement, and immediately contact a lawyer familiar with familycustody law.
1. Never give up HOPE that you will find your child or children no matter how long and difficult the road you have to journey on is.
2. URGENTLY, if you are a citizen of the The United States, immediately contact the United States Department of State –Office of Children’s Issues. They can be reached at 202-736-9090 or at 888.407.4747. If you are presently in the foreign country that your child was illegally detained, then immediately contact the United States embassy in that country, and schedule an emergency appointment seeking their assistance.
If you are from Canada, contact the Justice Legal Services in Ottawa at 613.996.1300 or 613.992.6300. If you are presently in the foreign country that your child was illegally detained, then immediately contact the Canadian embassy in that country, and schedule an emergency appointment seeking their assistance.
4. IMMEDIATELY contact your local police and your local branch of the FBI (in Canada, the RCMP) and share with them all the details that support your belief that your child’s abduction is imminent or in progress.
Do not wait to file your police report!
Make sure you have as much evidence to support your claim as possible, including any witnesses that can support your claims. While sharing this information with the police, make sure that you file a missing child report immediately.
This report is important as it allows the police to place a description of the child who is missing on the FBI’s National Crime Information Center (NCIC) database, (and in Canada the Canadian Police Information Centre {CPIC} computer system) so all police forces in the United States (and likewise, in Canada) will know the child is missing.
The police should notify border crossing and all ferry, rail, airport facilities. If there is any hesitancy on their part to do so, under all circumstances demand that all border crossing locations and transportation companies (ferry services, airlines, etc.) are notified, and that all travel manifests are immediately reviewed. If you suspect parental or non-stranger abduction, provide the police with a photo of the suspected abductor, an address, telephone number and any other pertinent information about that person.
In addition, so long as you have a custody order decree from the courts, law enforcement can seek to press charges of aiding and abetting against any individual who may have assisted the abductor with their kidnapping scheme. Recently, Senate Resolution 543 (SR543) that was unanimously passed in the Senate on December 14th, 2012 resolved that our nation and all applicable agencies involved in child abduction prevention and reunification do whatever they can to assist a targeted child. This means that under the reach of criminal law, and if there is enough evidence to support a case of aiding and abetting, a criminal complaint must be filed with the authorities.
5. In all scenarios, it is strongly advised that you hire a lawyer familiar with international child abduction. It is critical that emergency legal applications are made to the court of jurisdiction that request for the court to issue to you the following:
A) Temporary Full Custody of your child or children.
B) A Return Order for your children demanding that the other parent return them to the court of jurisdiction by a specified date.
In addition, laws in many states give judges authority to issue a 'pickup' order for the child to prevent an imminent abduction or harm to the child. Pickup orders go by different names, including 'warrant to take physical custody of a child' and 'warrant in lieu of a writ of habeas corpus'.
6. The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA), in effect in most states, provides an emergency ex parte proceeding for getting a law enforcement directed pickup order (in conjunction with a custody enforcement order) when abductions or serious physical harm to a child is imminent. If the requirements are met, a judge should issue an order directing law enforcement to pick up the child and to serve notice of the custody enforcement proceedings.
7. If you believe your child's safety is in danger, and you have credible evidence that your partner is intending to imminently take your child and abduct to another country - file an emergency ex parte motion in court immediately, and make sure you or your lawyer notify your local law enforcement that you are filing an emergency motion before the court.
8. When possible, you and/or someone you trust should stay in close physical proximity of the child. Consider hiring a seasoned private investigator to monitor the movements of your spouse and child.
9. STAY CALM. Contact neighbors, friends, spouse, siblings and anyone who may know where your child may be. Invite a friend or acquaintance with a "calm" manner to be with you.
10. Conduct a telephone search. Call family, friends and relatives who may wish to help. Encourage them to use their telephones to make inquiry calls so your line will remain free for incoming calls. If you have to leave the house, have an answering machine on the line or have a friend or neighbor take incoming calls.
11. Have friends and relatives conduct a basic land search of the neighborhood area while you are making a police report. With family and friends, try to recall the present and past few days of family situations and activities (a recent argument or disciplinary action could be the reason for hiding).
12. Provide the police with the information in your prepared Identification Kit. This kit should include updates clear photographs, foot and fingerprints, birth certificate, medical history, passport, dental records, X-rays, child's name and description including location of scars, birthmarks and any other identifiable data (glasses, braces, earrings, etc.). A videotape or a recent home video of the child may be made specifically for the kit. Try to keep a mental note of what your child is wearing each day.
13. Conduct a complete physical search of your area. Organize a search party of friends and relatives to search areas such as, child's route home from school, community center, friend’s houses, favorite hang-out etc. Be on the lookout for articles of clothing, toys, books other personal belongings scattered on the ground. If found, do not disturb. Contact a police officer immediately.
14. Leave someone at home at all times to answer the telephone in case your child calls.
15. Continue to keep the telephone lines FREE at all times.
16. Continue your search even if there are no immediate results. Follow up for updates on the case by contacting the investigating police officer and the provincial searching agency who registered your child.
17. Solicit media support such as radio, television, local publications and newspapers only at the advice of the police and searching agency involved with the case. Be mindful that once your spouse has illegally taken your child and is on the run, they essentially will act like a fugitive (in many cases they are due to arrest warrants issued by the local court). Typically, a person running from law enforcement is willing to take risks that they might otherwise not be inclined to take under more normal circumstances. These risks can be very concerning, and could potentially place the child as well as the abducting parent in grave and dangerous situations. So, before you solicit help from the media, weigh out the opinions and advice of law enforcement, your lawyer, and your private investigators, if you have hired for these services.
18. Distribute a photograph of the missing child as well as your spouse or ex-spouse who has taken your child.
19. Keep a detailed diary of people and agencies you have contacted and steps you have already taken. Logging the events limits the duplication of efforts and allows a review of inquiries.
20. As I said earlier, hire a local lawyer familiar with local and international child custody law and have your attorney appear before your local court immediately. Share with the court the details of your child’s abduction and all other relevant information to allow the judge to understand the seriousness of the matter. It is critical that you are honest, open, and credible before the court. In simple terms: do not lie, do not fabricate anything, and do not give the court any reason to question your credibility. Tell the good, the bad, and the ugly. Request that the court grant you sole full custody and sole full guardianship of your child or children if you do not already have it. Also request that the court direct your spouse to immediately return with the child to the place of original jurisdiction (if he or she has a lawyer in the jurisdiction, you should be able to serve that person [have your lawyer check on matters of service]. Request that the court issue a ‘pick-up’ order directing police officers to assist you in finding and returning your child to you.
21. If you know your child has been taken to another country, contact the United Stated Department of State – Office Of Children’s Issues and immediately file a Hague Application for the wrongful international abduction and retention of your child.
22. Make sure you monitor all bank accounts and remove all assets that are in joint-tenancy into your sole name.
23. If you are the primary holder on any assets and credit cards, immediately remove your spouse’s name on every account.
24. Immediately contact your credit card companies and put a security alert on all of your credit cards. This will direct the credit card company to request that you show proper identification to the merchant during each time you use a credit card, or, in the event of electronic on line transactions, a representative from the credit card company’s security department will be required to contact you in order to authorize the transaction. Also, make sure you put two password questions and answers (not one – but two), on your bank and credit card accounts in order to prevent having anyone else other than you access your money.
25. Contact all credit reporting agencies and request that you are immediately notified of any credit inquiries, remarks, or additional accounts. Make sure that each agency issues a security alert, directing each requesting credit company to seek additional verifying information that any inquiries or applications made to their company were made by you.
26. Monitor all cell phones of your spouse, and, if possible, have all cell phones, emails, and any other communication devices monitored.
27. Check with your spouse’s friends, family, and acquaintances and see if they were aware of any information that might lead you to locate your child. Typically, a person who is standoffish, might have known of the abductor’s plans, or, has already been influenced by that person, and will be of little help to you. If that occurs, immediately report this to law enforcement investigating the abduction. If the police chose to interview that person, and they lie to law enforcement, they can be criminally charged with a crime.
28. Check in your child or children’s rooms for any hints or clues as to where they might have been taken.
29. Check your ex-spouse or spouse’s personal items for any clues as to where they might have taken your child.
30. If your ex-spouse or spouse has family that live in a foreign country, hire the services of a private investigator in that country to immediately follow your ex-spouse or spouse’s parents and other family members in order to determine where the child has been taken and is located. This very well may be the best set of dollars you will spend. Remember, any recovery actions cannot be taken until your child’s location is known. In many international parental child abduction cases, the abducting parent chooses to go underground with the child, and develops behavior similar to a fugitive on the run (they are fugitives). Typically, they have a support network in place, and the abduction has been carefully planned and enabled through the assistance of family members and friends. Finding and knowing where your child was taken to is the most important action once you know the child has been removed from the country of habitual residency. Without knowing what country your child is in – you cannot file a Hague Application … and you will be spinning your wheels endlessly trying to find out where your child is. One final note on this subject: according to the provisions in The Hague, there exists language that essentially enables a Hague judge overseeing the case to allow for a child to stay with the abducting parent if the abducting parent is able to prove to the court that returning the child to the country of origin would be detrimental to the child’s best interest. One of the techniques commonly used in a Hague defense is to demonstrate that the child or children have adjusted and desires to live in the country they were wrongfully and illegally taken to. In certain situations, a judge may believe that the child or children have settled into their ‘new life’, and that uprooting them would be harmful, and not in the child’s best interest. So – it is critically important for a Chasing Parent to know where the child was taken to as soon as possible and immediately file for the child’s return under the protocols of The Hague Convention.
31. If your child is taken to another country, consult heavily with a lawyer in your local jurisdiction familiar with The Hague Convention, and, make sure you hire a lawyer familiar with The rules of The Hague Convention in the jurisdiction you know your child was taken to.
32. Become familiar with the laws and customs of the country that your child has been taken to.
33. Consult with The National Center For Missing And Exploited Children, the governing agency who acts as The Hague Signatory for your country (in The United States, the U.S. State Department acts as the official Hague representative for The United States Government) and the International Child Abduction Research and Enlightenment Foundation (the I CARE Foundation).
34. Try to keep yourself physically active, eat a healthy diet, and rest on a regular basis.
35. Never give up Hope that you will be reunited with your child.
36. Remember, you must know everything that everyone involved with your child’s recovery is doing. Do not be concerned about any or your actions other than one: finding your child. In essence – do whatever you have to do in order to protect your child – but remember, your actions must not place your child in any harm’s way. That is why it is important for you to consult with the experts – but remember – you must know everything – including as much as possible on family law, and the rules of The Hague Convention.
37. Allow and trust in The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction. The Hague Courts do work!
38. If your child or children have been issued a passport and you have access to it, make sure you hold it and secure it in a safe place. If your child has not been issued a passport, then immediately contact the agency overseeing passport issuances, and appraise them of the present situation. Typically, law enforcement or an officer from the State Department’s Office of Children’s Issues overseeing your Hague Application will do this as well.
39. In the event that your child does not have a passport from the country they habitually lived in, and no passport has been requested or issued by your local government, then make sure that law enforcement contact the local embassy of the country your spouse was originally from, and inform them of the litigation taking place.
40. One of the most important things you can do in the early stages of an international child abduction is to establish friendly contact with the relatives and friends of the other parent, both in your country and abroad. The fastest and most effective way to resolve international child abductions is for the abducting parent to return the child voluntarily. While there may be good reasons for you to believe that this approach won’t work, it is important that the effort be made.
41. Make sure you have a cell phone with you at all times, that it is fully charged, that you keep a charged back-up battery, and a back-up phone charger.
42. If you are traveling abroad to search for your child, make sure you send yourself back-up ‘emergency’ money via Western Union (Western Union is reliable, serves most locations around the world, and funds can be accessed immediately).
43. The 'Prevent Departure Program' is a very affective tool to prevent alien residents physically in the United States from leaving the country either with or without a child. The program is administered by the Department of Homeland Security and was initially created to aide in our the country's national security interests post 911. Essentially and under the purposes of child abduction, an individual would not be able to depart from the United States. For more information on this program, please visit information on this website listed under 'Prevent Departure Program' or click on the following link:
47. Remember, the abductor has been well advised and aided about how to get away with their abduction. They will try to do whatever they can to have it appear that either you are a horrible, dangerous person, and/or that you consented to their travel abroad with intent to relocate. Thus, be very careful of what the abductor communicates with you, and be very leary that any suggestion to have a family member of the abductor mediate an agreement between the two of you in genuine: there is a very good chance it is not.
48. In the United States, it is illegal to operate or hire a recovery agents who essentially reabduct a child taken in another country. It is strongly advised that you follow the rules of law and remember that recovery agents are very costly, you as a client have limited way of validating their activity or expense, and that generally, snatching a child places the child in harms way. Follow the rules of law and trust the courts.
49. Critically, you must be aware that if you are in a foreign country where your child was taken, the other side will do essentially whatever is possible in order for them to remain there, including making false child abuse or police reports against you. One of the most common techniques used for both men and women abductors is for the abductor to make a police report that you threatened their life and that they are concerned about their and the child's safety. This enables them to get a restraining order against you while also laying out ground for an Article 13 Defense of the Hague Convention.
50. It is beyond important that you remember that the abductor committed the crime of kidnapping. Surely, the abductor was aware of their action and legal issues. And it did not matter. They still carried out there plan. And if you are on foreign soil, you should be very cautious that the abductor has been well advised, and knows that it is critical for their abduction defense to make the child abuse or criminal complaint against you. Sadly, many abductors act as predators by luring the partner to the foreign country during Christmas so that they could make criminal complaints against that person while they are there. Be very careful - and seek assistance from your country's embassy.
51. Mobilize your assets.
IMPORTANT ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ABOUT INTERNATIONAL PARENTAL CHILD ABDUCTION:
When it comes to International Parental Child Abduction, there are a few things that are important to realize.
2. Unreported cases of abductionare anticiapted to at least equal the number of reported cases of abduction, and it is beleived that this number could be as high as 150% of reported cases. As an example, in 2010, there ere 1,634 reported cases of IPCA in the United States. Thus, it could be expected that the number of unreported cases of abduction ranged from 1, 634 to 2,451, and that the total number of cases of international parental child abduciton was anywhere from 3,264 - 4,085 cases.
3. Growth of IPCA cases is at least 20% per year.
4. It is forcast that only roughly 10% of all children (reported and unreported) illegally kidnapped come home.
5. International Parentla Child Abduction is a federal crime.
7. The Prevent Departure Program needs to be modified to allow the screening of high-risk child abductors who possess rights of United States citizenship.
There are no words that could explain the complex feelings that swelled in my heart yesterday causing a tireless current of various emotions that push and pull at my being. This feeling is not new, but one that is rather familiar. It is both sustaining and alarming. And like most things that cause an array of emotions, the feelings that hold me are magnified because of my own personal experiences with the events of the day.
All of you know me as Peter Thomas Senese, an author and advocate of children. But you see, many of the children I am dedicated to see me not as the adult that I try so hard not to be, but for who I am in spirit: Peter Pan -fighter of the dragon that tries to steal life in the form of cancer or some other nasty disease.
And yesterday, was one of those incredibly special days that my inner Peter Pan had taken flight and visited many children in the hospital who were in the midst of their own fight with the dragon.
Fighting the dragon of cancer is something I am not new to. You see, I have had a share of cancer fights that over the years caused tumors to grow in areas of my body. In fact, I was diagnosed with a disease long ago that had a low survival rate, and chances were that my life-span was expected to be limited because of the high mortality rate of my cancer disease.
Well, my diagnosis of 15 years ago that included making sure I got my 'affairs' in order missed one important mark: I'm still here, extremely healthy, and a Conqueror of Cancer. In fact, the genetic testing of the gene strain that caused my very complex form of cancer to occur . . . and keep coming back is now gone from my body. Seriously: the dragon that ravaged my body is gone.
And if you didn't know that I fought the dragon on numerous occasions, then chances are that you would not know of my many battles because my body is strong, my scars have healed, and by no means have I become anything less than a warrior who shares with others wisdom I have learned and gained about how to see the magic in life, and how to use this magic to fight the dragon.
I know that the time I live here on this planet really is a gift.
I know that the wisdom I gained fighting a disease that by all odds, was suppose to take my life in a cruel way, but failed, has helped many others.
I know the precious value of celebrating life and seeing the magic.
And I know that the Peter Pan in me allows me to talk to children in a way that they understand.
So on days like yesterday, my inner Peter Pan takes flight and visits children who fight the dragon.
My visits to an assortment of hospitals are incredible journeys. I have now traveled for 13 years. Each year I learn many new things, yet I am reminded of many of the same wonderment's that existed or were taught the year before, including most importantly that life's magic and embracing this magic is the key to happiness.
My support to find a cure for cancer has been steadfast for well over a decade. I am quite proud that I have been able to find a way in my own life to be able to provide resources to help fight cancer, while also being able to assist others who fight the fight.
Yesterday, I had a chance to visit two New York City area hospitals that specialize in treating children with life-threatening illnesses.
It is a day I look forward to more than any other day of the year, though my visits to hospitals occur several times a year.
Perhaps the difference is that on this day I travel with many cool gifts that originate from the spirit of Neverland . . . gifts carefully saved for throughout the year by me and a few of my friends from Neverland.
And though I look forward to my visit, truth is fighting cancer or any life-threatening illness is not easy for anyone, yet alone for a child and their family.
Yet, I know first-hand just how important it is for anyone in the midst of the fight to 'Think of Happy Thoughts' ... because happy thoughts allows your spirit to fly and soar - and fight! And few know the importance of 'Happy Thoughts' more than Peter Pan.
My day was filled with a great amount of laughter.
For whatever reason, God allowed me to become a gifted storyteller capable of sharing enchanting stories with children.
And so my day, joined by my dear friend Patricia (Tinkerbell) and Fred (Twister), was filled with sharing stories that grasped at the children's and their parents' hearts. And we were so blessed because along the way we recruited a wonderful group of 'Lost Adults' as I called them from Iowa who came to New York on a ministry to help those impacted by Hurricane Sandy. Pastor Rick, Jane, Jenna, and Debbie had no idea what they were getting into when they stepped in the elevator, but we were sure glad they did because they were so incredibly helpful in so many ways. New friends were made that shared something so incredible.
Sometimes I would enter a room and look around and say, "Hey, you're in my old bed!" While other times, I would introduce myself by saying in a low voice, "Hi, I'm Peter Pan. And I came to see you from Neverland. And I have some presents for you from the Lost Boys and Girls. Do you think the adults can see me?" Or, "I'm Peter Pan, and I'm looking for someone who wants to come on an adventure and help me fight Captain James C. Hook. Are you interested in an adventure?"
For whatever the reason, the children I was blessed to visit appeared to connect with me.
There were stories told, really cool presents opened, prayers said, jokes told, and trust . . . a lot of trust. You see, when I told the children that I fought the cousin of the dragon that they were fighting and beat him, they became very interested in what I had to say.
It was then that the room became very small, and it felt as if it was just me and one of my new pals. And for the few minutes that we were locked in together, I allowed them to touch one of the scars on my head, and to feel the tight-ball of a muscle of my bicep, and to listen to my words of encouragement. And during this time, I explained some things that were so important, including how important it was for them to find their 'Happy Thoughts' all the time.
I can't begin to share with you the depth of what was given to me yesterday. Truth is for as much as I may have shared, it was the children that gave so much to me.
Hope is the most powerful tool in the world. When we learn to see the magic around us, we are able to see and embrace hope. When we embrace hope, our lives become enriched.
Faith is a very important part of my own life. In my faith, of course I questioned often why God would allow for these children to go through what they are. It was a similar set of questions I asked often during the time when one of my young family members had to fight the dragon (successfully).
Words the express my hope that the men and women who dedicate their lives to finding a cure for cancer travel with God speed on their quest could never be properly expressed. I am in awe of those individuals who have dedicated their lives to helping find cures to all diseases, and have been blessed to know over the years some of the world's leading genomic scientist who get up every day trying to make a difference.
But most of all, in the eyes of these amazing children I had the great privilege of visiting with yesterday, I saw the hope of mankind and the goodness that exists in each of us.
The lessons these children shared with me are lessons I will continue to embrace. One of which I would like to share with you:
We all have the ability of making a positive difference in the life of another. The magic of life is clearly found when we act compassionately.
Sadly, it would be unrealistic for me to think that all the children I met with yesterday will overcome the challenges they face. My heart really does cry out in pain and sorrow; however, I try to take solace in knowing that the God I believe in does have a plan for each and every person. And I am smart enough to know that I do not have the capacity to understand all that God has in store for each of us. The heaviness of my heart is tempered by my belief in Heaven. I learned a long time ago I am not afraid of dying here . . . in fact, for a few seconds of my own life, during the time when I had the tumor in my noggin and was receiving experimental therapy treatment, my own heart did stop. And as I just said ... I do believe in Heaven.
My wish for each of you is that you embrace each and every moment of life. Life really is filled with magic. It appears that it comes down to how each of us decides to see.
I ask that you keep in your prayers all individuals who are not in good health, particularly children, because God really does listen.
Also, I decided not to share any photographs here out of respect for the privacy of the new friends I made yesterday. Understandably, some parents have a hard time pictures, particularly if their child is undergoing treatment such as chemotherapy.
And as for me . . . my 'Peter Pan' will continue to guide my life.
Merry Christmas To All Of You . . . And Remember, "Embrace Hope, Know Faith . . . And Think Happy Thoughts'.
In my life, I have never been more angry and stirred to act than I am at this point after reading recently on several social media sites a growing number of suggested hate crimes against innocent, trusting, defenseless children who are on the autism spectrum.
These statements that include various forms of violence against children are far worse than the inhuman hellfire punishment of a Salem witch trial, more barbaric than the lynching of a person because of their color, and reminiscent of the heartless acts of mass genocide committed by pure evil.
I am both deeply concerned that calls for violence against any type of child - any type of adult for that matter - that is different can escalate into widespread stupidity that leads to physical harm, and cause even greater challenges and worry to a large and growing community of children and their parents who must deal day-in and day-out with seeing the world uniquely because these children were born differently.
From the hours afters the tragedy that has occurred in Newton, Connecticut where innocent children and adults had their lives stolen from them at the hands of bullets that came from semi-automatic, military grade weapons, I have, personally and as a director of the non-profit I CARE Foundation which has helped reunite many internationally kidnapped children while working to create new laws that will protect children from abduction and trafficking, I have called for sweeping gun control reform that will remove the sale of semi-automatic weapons and high-impact bullets, amongst a cache of suggestions that will protect people of all ages.
Sadly, tragically, and unquestionably, bullets shot from guns kill people. I wonder out loud how many of gunmen suffered from depression? How many gunmen who shot at or killed a law enforcement officer murdered a police officer because they had access to a gun?
From my standpoint growing up in Brooklyn, New York, guns kill people. Remove the guns off the street and remove the accessibility to murder. On this note, I can't applaud Hizzoner Mayor Bloomberg and New York Police Commissioner Kelly enough for their indefatigable campaign to get rid of guns on the New York streets. And the I CARE Foundation has strongly supported Mayor Bloomberg's 'Demand A Plan To Stop Gun Violence'.
But back to the hate-mongers and those who may have acted impulsively and who are acting with little compassion, knowledge, and inhumanity in their souls who have suggested that physical harm be brought to children on the spectrum, I urge each of you who have made these statements to think long and hard about what you are suggesting. Think if you had a brother or sister, or son or daughter who was on the spectrum: would you love or hate that person? Would you walk away from their challenges or would you help them? Would you stand up to bullies who try to abuse or take advantage of them when their in school, knowing that your brother or sister, or son or daughter were very trusting - because generally individuals on the spectrum are very trusting.
Unequivocally, any call to violence and bullying against any children predefined by any characteristics would, I imagine, become a rallying cry and call-to-action from parents of these children, and I suspect this is very true of parents who fight day-in and day-out for any child who has a handicap or disadvantage.
There is no room, place, or tolerance for hate crimes in our society - and that is exponentially embraced when we are discussing the safety of innocent children.
Personally, I know many wonderful children who are on the spectrum, including amazing, loving, and gifted family members and children of very close friends of mine. And each of these children are blessings in my life. And I can't even begin to explain how much I have learned because at times these wonderful children remind me and teach me about the wonderment that is in the world because they see the world in the honesty we hope it to be. Nor could I ever begin to share just how deep my admiration goes to the parents of children who are on the spectrum. Their love and commitment toward their child is beyond remarkable.
Amy Harmon of the New York Times recently wrote an article titled, 'Fearing a Stigma for People With Autism' where she writes, "Experts say there is no evidence that they are more likely than any other group to commit violent crimes."
The New York Times article goes on to say, “Aggression in autism spectrum disorders is almost never directed to people outside the family or immediate caregivers, is almost never planned, and almost never involves weapons,” said Dr. Catherine Lord, director of the Center for Autism and the Developing Brain at New York-Presbyterian hospital. “Each of these aspects of the current case is more common in other populations than autism.
"Dr. Lord said that in an unpublished review of data tracking several hundred adults with autism over at least the past five years, she and fellow researchers had found no use of weapons. Among more than 1,000 older children and adolescents in that study, only 2 percent were reported by parents to have used an implement aggressively toward a non family member — fewer than in a control group. That finding was repeated in another set of data that she analyzed over the weekend at the request of The New York Times."
So there is apparnetly no known correlation between violence and being on the autism spectrum.
The New York Times article points to a "most recent Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimate, one in 88 children in the United States have an autistic spectrum disorder, whose symptoms range in severity. For a time, it seemed almost faddish to be diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, or high-functioning autism, a condition in which individuals have normal or above-average language skills and intelligence but struggle to observe social rules, like when to make eye contact or to ask a reciprocal question, and to intuit the feelings of others."
Ms. Harmon's article provided insight into the world of adults who are on the autism spectrum when it stated, “When I tell someone I’m on the autism spectrum, there’s always a fear that they will judge me in a negative way because of it,” said Alex Plank, founder of WrongPlanet.net, a Web site where many individuals with Asperger syndrome have poured out their concerns in recent days.
“Fortunately, people think ‘Temple Grandin’ or even ‘Bill Gates’ and make a connection in their mind. I’d hate to have someone think ‘Adam Lanza.
"Some of the commenters on Mr. Plank’s site reflected an insider’s knowledge of life with an autism spectrum disorder:one wondered why the public school system was not providing Mr. Lanza with a “transition to adulthood” program through age 21, as required by federal law?"
Surely, and thankfully, the national conversation about gun control will bring about positive reform in our nation's gun control laws. In this, I believe we all hope that innocent lives will be spared by an existing fate under the laws of today. It is my strong hope that a second, and equally important national conversation continues to grow and sustains itself: and that is our nation's responsibility to assist all individuals on the spectrum regardless of age.
There have been an incredible number of highly gifted individuals who have made a tremendous impact on society who have been reported to have been or are on the spectrum.
This list includes individuals who have been cited in a public report as possibly being on the spectrum includes Microsoft founder and renown philanthropist Bill Gates, along with scientist who changed the world such as Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, and Henry Cavendish as well as writers, entertainers, and artists such as Mozart, Michelangelo, Mark Twain, Jim Henson, Woody Allen and Jane Austin. Here is a list of some well-known individuals on the Autism Spectrum who have been associated with possibly being on the spectrum (cited from Wikipedia):
Adam Young, multi-instrumentalist, producer and the founder of the electronic project Owl City[34]
High-functioning autism
High-functioning autism is an informal term, not an official diagnostic category. Compared to diagnostic criteria for the official ASDs, descriptions of HFA tend to align most closely with Asperger syndrome.
The Center For Disease Control and Prevention stated on it's website:
ASDs occur in all racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic groups, but are almost five times more common among boys than among girls. CDC estimates that about 1 in 88 children has been identified with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
More people than ever before are being diagnosed with an ASD. It is unclear exactly how much of this increase is due to a broader definition of ASDs and better efforts in diagnosis. However, a true increase in the number of people with an ASD cannot be ruled out. We believe the increase in ASD diagnosis is likely due to a combination of these factors. For over a decade, CDC’s Autism and Developmental Disabilities Monitoring (ADDM) Network has been estimating the number of people with an ASD in the U.S. We have learned a lot about how many children in the U.S. have an ASD. It will be important to use the same methods to track how the number of people with an ASD is changing over time in order to learn more about the disorders.
Most of all, we must all remember that any act of violence against another individual is wrong. In light of the heavy hearts we all feel in the aftermath of the tragedy that occurred in Newtown, Connecticut, and with deep respect and compassion for all who have been impacted by what sadly occurred, including the loss of so many lives, and, the deep scarring of so many lives who were there, we must join together and say that no call for violence against any person or any group will be tolerated from the moment words of intolerance are spoken.
And we surely must remember that we do need new gun control laws that will ensure that tragedies such as what occurred in Newtown will not occur again.
My friend Susann Gehring is a highly respecte parenting blogger who has come to the aid of children at risk of international parental child abduction in her advocacy of sharing the I CARE Foundation's social messages about abduction and trafficking. On her wonderful MommaHopper Blog, Susann posted a very important article that begins with:
At 9:30 we took a moment of silence and said a prayer today to remember those that lost their life last week at the horrible event. People want to blame someone. From the time of Adam and Eve, the blame game has begun. I have heard it is the guns fault, the gun makers fault. Now last night I hear people are hurting children who have Autism because the shooter had it. I just want to scream, BAD THINGS HAPPEN…..somethings we can’t explain why. Then I read this last night on Facebook. Darrell Scott, the father of Rachel Joy Scott — a student killed in the 1999 shootings at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado — did make this speech during testimony on May 27, 1999 before the Subcommittee on Crime of the House Judiciary Committee.
